A Letter to My Future Children, Part 2

Hey Kids,

We didn’t get that house I told you about. Your dad and I tried really hard to make it work, but the house required a lot of repairs to bring it up to a livable condition and we couldn’t agree on a price with the seller. We wouldn’t be comfortable drinking, showering and cooking with water that has 5x above the recommended radon limits or sleeping under a ceiling that is growing mold right above it. We are sad about it and feel a little hopeless when it comes to real estate. There’s a house out there for us and we will eventually find it.

Here’s the funny thing about this whole house saga. Buying a house is a huge decision that you have very little control over. This sale came down to both parties running out of money. The seller couldn’t afford to come down to the price we needed to afford to fix the broken things. We couldn’t control her checkbook. We can barely control our own checkbook! (Although I’m proud of how much money your dad and I managed to save in our first year of marriage.) When you’re faced with disappointments like this (and let’s face it, this was a big one), the only choice you have is to pick yourselves up and move on.

Here’s the another thing about disappointment. Everyone tries to comfort you with the same advice. We’ve heard a lot of “it just wasn’t meant to be,” which is the exact same advice that I’ve gotten every time I’ve been dumped or turned down for a job. And I get it because I’ve been dumped and turned down quite a bit and it’s all worked out in the end. The only difference here is that none of our friends are telling us that the house was a jerk and they never liked it anyway. It’s easy to get discouraged when you figure out that you’ve gone pretty far down the wrong road, which is probably my biggest disappointment with not getting the house. We put a lot of effort into this house and for all of that to come to nothing is very frustrating. If nothing else, it’s a good lesson for us to learn to trust our feelings. I apologize to you in advance because, when you come home with your first heartbreak, I’m going to give you all of this advice again and you’re going to roll your eyes at me. It sounds patronizing and it doesn’t even make you feel better. It’s true though. There are plenty of fish, jobs and houses in the sea.

We’ll be back out looking for our house soon. I have to shake off the hopes and dreams I had put on to this one. That’s actually not totally true. My hopes and dreams haven’t changed, just the backdrop.

Love,
Mom

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About Tara Salvi

I'm a 30 year old woman living and working in the 'burbs.
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