Rocking Your Stocking

Christmas of 2010 is over now, but it will always hold a special place in my heart. It was my first married Christmas. We got a hand-painted ornament that says so. This was the first Christmas that we gave gifts together, where we shopped (mostly) together, consulted with each other before deciding what to get our families. After 29 Christmases solo, it was nice to share the preparation with someone.

This was also the first Christmas that I ever had to fill a stocking. That’s always been Mom’s job, but Mr. Wonderful’s family decided that married couples do their own stockings, so the poor kid was stuck with me. I panicked. He was lucky because my Mom still did stockings for her progeny, so my expectations were low. But to be his only stocking? Ugh!

First of all, never having done stockings before, we didn’t actually own stockings. Growing up, I had a knitted stocking with my name on it. I didn’t really want to settle for anything less, but there was no time for anything else. I wanted our initials on them, but by the time I decided that, there were no “J’s” left in the entire Merrimack Valley. We ended up with green and red velvet jobs from Wal-Mart, purchased on December 21.

Since we didn’t have stockings until the last week, I had no idea how much I was supposed to buy. I didn’t know what I was supposed to buy either until Mr. Wonderful broke it down for me: nuts, candy (with a preference for Pez) and a magazine. But how much? What kind? Where does one even buy Pez these days?

I started shopping at Newbury Comics because I thought I could get things that are small. I think I made the clerks nervous; me in my pumas and wool coat with its sparkly snowflake pin roaming around for over an hour… I’m certainly not their normal clientele (though I used to be, which is a story for another day). I didn’t know this about Newbury Comics, but they have a lot of sports stuff. I got a Bruins wreath ornament, a Bruins bottle koozie, and hockey cards. I also got Super Mario Brothers band-aids, bacon-scented car freshener, and a Batman comic book. I nearly bought a pint-glass for myself emblazoned with “I’ll Out-Drink All You Bitches” but the opportunity to BYOG doesn’t come up as often as I’d like.

Anyway, back to the sock. I bought flavored cashews, Frosty Nerds and one marshmallow snowman. I bought a box of Ghirardelli chocolates as a memory of our honeymoon. I bought a Bruins badge holder for those of us who get locked out of our offices every time we use the bathroom. Then I brought it home and wrapped it all and, finally, got it into the stocking. I had a half-empty heal and a mostly empty top. Sure, it would have worked out okay, but that’s not the stocking I grew up with. I also panicked because Mr. Wonderful loves new socks for Christmas and if they weren’t coming in his stocking, how would he get them? So, to Wal-Mart I go on Christmas Eve Eve to buy razor blades, socks, underwear, Skittles and a thermal shirt. Wanna guess what happened?


“Me thinks she’s full, Cap’n…”

But someone else must have been worried about this same thing, because look what I got:

Holy Moly

Holy Moly!

The moral here: we’re both spoiled and slightly clueless! You only get one newlywed Christmas (luckily)!

About Tara Salvi

I'm a 30 year old woman living and working in the 'burbs.
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